Living in the moment

10 Sep

What can I say except this week has been quite the emotional roller-coaster. I’m pretty sure this situation has taken me through every emotion and reaction possible – sadness, hope, sense of powerlessness, love, anger, tears, laughter, fear and everything in between.

My gut feeling was telling me that the best option for everyone involved was to see if Corona could go back to his former owner, provided that she would take good care of him. While I would love to keep him, I would be very nervous about not being able to provide the best home for him due to never actually owning a horse before. I have however, looked into boarding options, just incase, as I would be willing to take on this challenge for his sake, despite my nerves. This would also allow me to sever ties with the Boss!

Last night when I was at TB’s, I told her a bit about the situation with Corona. I also told her that I was worried and didn’t necessarily trust that the Boss wouldn’t lie to me and send him to the meat man. There must have been a guardian angel looking over Corona because TB said that she wouldn’t let that happen and that worst case, she would take him and find him a good home. The weight of the world seemed to lift off my shoulders at that point, at least temporarily.

I found out from the Boss later last night (again, through email) that her agreement with the previous owner was that if she ever doesn’t want him anymore, then his old owner gets first refusal, and if she cannot take him back, then she would try to find a suitable home for him, and if she couldn’t, then he would get put down. I never knew that this was the agreement – why wouldn’t the Boss have told me this from the get go? The Boss also told me that she won’t let me have him to take elsewhere. I’m not sure if this is because of the agreement, or because she outright refuses. I have so many unanswered questions that I know I will never get the answers to.

While I don’t know his former owner, I’m happy that she seems like a responsible horse person and had outlined this plan for him. Of course, I certainly do not want him put down, and would ask her directly if I could have him before that would happen. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she will take him back…I don’t know what her situation is currently, but I’m hopeful. I’m also hopeful that if he went back, then I could stay in touch her to see how he’s doing. Even the Boss said she sees no reason why this shouldn’t be the case, which puts aside some of the paranoia I had about the Boss lying. As of now, the Boss is going to speak with the former owner to see what the current situation is, and we’re going to go from there.

I’m trying to keep my emotions in check, but it’s hard. I rode Corona the other day and bawled my eyes out pretty much the entire time. When I was catching him from the field, he cantered up to me at the gate, which he has done maybe once before. In true Corona fashion, he also bucked me off during our ride after I used my whip because he wasn’t listening…and for the very first time ever, he ran back over to me when he realized I was on the ground. It’s not that I was happy about being bucked off, but in a weird way, I was grateful I fell off because I was able to experience the utter joy I felt when he ran back to me. It know it sounds melodramatic, but I’m appreciating each moment with him just incase it’s our last because I know that day will inevitably come sooner rather than later.

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One Response to “Living in the moment”

  1. finlaym1 September 11, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

    Keep us posted!

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